“Once I get through with you guys you will be the best
mortar men in all of Afghanistan”! That is what I told the 5 Afghan soldiers
that were standing next to me. One of the men responded with the word “Insha’
Allah” I asked our interpreter what that phrase signified and he replied “God
Willing”. I thought to myself, what a delightful expression.
Part of our exit strategy from Afghanistan is to train the
Afghan Army and for the past week or so that is exactly what we have been
doing. I believe myself to be a fairly decent mortar man but considering that I
don’t speak Dari or Pashto this job has turned out to be rather difficult.
Sure, we have a couple of well-intentioned translators to assist us but their
English skills are not worthy of mentioning in this blog.
The first morning of training did not go as smooth as we hoped
for but overall everything was fine. That is until it was time for afternoon
chow. Gunny put me in charge of feeding these guys so I grabbed a box of Meals
Ready to Eat (MREs) for them. The only instructions I received for this task
was to insure none of the MREs had pork in them. As I was handing out the MREs
one of the Afghans said something in Dari that made them all laugh. I had no
idea what was said but I did hear the name George Bush. I asked the translator
what was said and at first he was hesitant about telling me. I ensured him that
I would not get offended. I was just curious as to why they mentioned George
Bush.
Apparently, what was said was something to the effect that these MREs
have been here since George Bush was reelected and they did not want them. The
statement was probably true but I really did not have anything else to offer
them. I was in a real predicament. Gunny would crush me if I did not feed these
guys.
That is when I remembered that some lady named Baba Nora sent us a care
package full of caramel corn that was made in some hillbilly town in Northern
Illinois. Gunny’s wife sent him a French press with Russian tea. Combined the
two made for a perfect little lunch. I saved the day!
The following day and every day after the Afghans brought
their own lunch along with a little propane stove. Of course they invited me to
eat with them and I really enjoyed watching them cook but most of all I liked
the simplicity of their meals. The first day we had what they call an omelet
but this was no ordinary omelet.
 |
| (I sure hope I'm not being held out for target practice) |
The second day we had beans but I must say
they were the best tasting beans that I ever tasted. As I watched the little
Afghan man prepare lunch I kept a mental note in order for me to replicate
these meals in the future.
Afghan Omelet
-
Add cooking oil to a frying pan and bring to simmer
(don’t be shy on the oil)
-
Chop up 8 to 10 fresh tomatoes, drop in pan,
bring to boil (substance should be extremely watery at this time)
Crack 5 to 6 raw eggs into the concoction and
stir like mad (add salt if desired)
Afghan Beans
-
Add cooking oil to a frying pan and bring to
simmer (don’t be shy on the oil)
-
Add two cans of kidney beans (their beans were
from Iran) mix in with the oil, bring to boil
-
Add half
a can of tomato sauce to mixture
and stir thoroughly (add salt if desired)
Keep in mind the Afghans do not use silverware. Most of the
time the meal is served in one large dish that everyone shares. In our case we
used Naan (Afghan bread) to scoop up the meal. I’ve traveled all over the
world with Paula and I must say that Afghan bread is by far the best! It is
amazing what you can learn about a culture just by having lunch with a few of
the natives.
Week one of our training with the Afghans has ended and we
are getting ready for week two. The Gunny talked to all of us last night and
told us that we were half way through our tour. He said to me, “Just think Gear
Bear, you will be back with Paula and the rest of your family in about four and
a half months”! For some reason the song “Green, Green Grass of Home” came to
mind. But the only response I could come up with was “Insha’Allah”
g/b
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