The past week has not been a good one for me; I kind of got
into a bit of trouble. I was pulling tower guard with Harry Potter, upon our
relief we stopped by the porta potty. While Harry used the facilities I held the
door open for him so we could have a conversation. Once Harry finished
relieving himself he pulled a black Sharpie out of his pocket and wrote the
following statement on the door. “Stupidity has officially become the norm”
The day prior, new operational procedures came down from
higher and Potter was not thrilled about them. To tell you the truth I’m not
happy about the new procedures either. So, in an act of defiance Potter decided
that he would stick it to the man by defacing government property. I personally
did not think his actions were such a big deal, due to the fact that every porta
potty that I’ve ever used is full of graffiti. However, on this subject the
Gunny and I did not see eye to eye.
You see the Gunny has the prostate of an eighty year old
man. He goes at least once or twice an hour.
Now, the particular porta potty that old Harry wrote in was already covered with graffiti. I guess the old man had already read everything in that porta potty, which is how he knew that Harry’s writing, was fresh.
Now, the particular porta potty that old Harry wrote in was already covered with graffiti. I guess the old man had already read everything in that porta potty, which is how he knew that Harry’s writing, was fresh.
It did not take long for Gunny’s henchman Big Red to figure
out that Potter and I were the culprits. Apparently; Potter was the only guy in
the platoon to be carrying a black Sharpie in his pocket that day.
Once, the inquisition was complete we were told to report to Gunny to receive our punishments. On the way to the Gunny I asked Potter why he did not ditch the Sharpie, he told me to shut my mouth and mind my business.
Once, the inquisition was complete we were told to report to Gunny to receive our punishments. On the way to the Gunny I asked Potter why he did not ditch the Sharpie, he told me to shut my mouth and mind my business.
Our punishment was both tedious and humiliating; it was broken
down into two parts. The first part was what I was expecting, but with a twist.
The twist involved the paint. The only paint located at the ECP was spray paint
and we both knew we were not going to get off that easy. So, the Gunny took the
cap off the can and proceeded to fill it with spray paint. We were given the
paint filled cap and the smallest brush you could imagine and were told to
paint over the graffiti on not just the porta potty in question but on all five
of the porta potties located in our area of operation. The only catch was that
we were not to paint over Harry Potter’s words. Why? I can’t say for sure. We
had to return to the boss at least 11 times for pant refills, the job took us
six hours to complete.
The second part of the punishment was worse than the first. We
had to stand in front of the bathroom area in tent city (where we live) for 3
hours, 3 nights in a row, wearing full kit. We were instructed to say the
following words to every individual that wished to use the restrooms. “My name
is SPC Potter/ PVT Gear Bear. Stupidity has officially become the norm; please
do not write on the latrine walls.”
Gunny has told me several times since the incident that if it ever happens again I
will be one sorry bear. Technically speaking I did not write anything I just
held the door!
g/b
g/b
